Punch of the Legionnaire

This is NOT an actual beverage of the French Foreign Legion. However, it was created in their honor and for the honor of France, which I was so willing to fight for in order to obtain French citizenship. Unfortunately, I am inept at running and taking orders (a good bit of drinking fails to help as well). So the Legion was simply not for me. Instead, I created this. It incorporates various ingredients of American, British, German, French, Spanish and Moroccan origin so that it represents the main ethnicities and character of the Legion itself. This recipe can easily be reduced to a single serving for which proportions I will note in parentheses.

INGREDIENTS

3 cups demarara sugar (1 1/2 oz)

strips of zest from 16 lemons (1 lemon peel)

8 tsp loose-leaf green tea(1/2 tsp)

16 whole mace(1 whole mace)

48 whole cloves(3 whole cloves)

8 cups whole, fresh mint leaves loosely packed(about a 1/2 cup)

About 8 cups boiling water(about 1/2 cup)

750 ml or 25 oz bottle of rye whiskey, or bourbon if you must(1 1/2 oz)

750 ml or 25 oz bottle of Islay Scotch Whiskey (1 1/2 oz)

8 oz fresh lemon juice (1/2 oz)

4 oz peach schnapps (1/4 oz)

5 tablespoons or 2 1/2 oz Peychaud's bitters(3-4 dashes, about a tsp)

2 oz pastis (1/8 oz)

Fresh ground nutmeg (whatever fits over the top)

Peel the zest of the lemons with a vegetable peeler over a 5 liter bowl with the sugar. Muddle the lemon peels and sugar slightly and put aside for 1 hour.

Bring the water to a boil. In a French press or two or three, place in the green tea, the cloves and mace. Add the hot water and let stand for 2 minutes. Add the mint leaves and rest for another 3 minutes. Press and strain into the sugar and lemon peels. Stir to dissolve the sugar and allow the mixture to cool. Discard the lemon peels if you want (I kind of like them in but I'm weird).

To the cooled mint tea, add the rye, scotch, lemon juice, schnapps, Peychaud's bitters, and pastis. Place in the refrigerator to chill and grate plenty of fresh nutmeg over the top. There should be enough to inebriate an entire company of the Foreign Legion; scale down as needed.